And so it begins. After a week of hanging out with friends, going to the coast with Janine (whom we may as well call my girlfriend from here on in, at least until she finds out about all the whores I plan to bone in truck stops), trying to a trillion loose ends tied up, and entirely too much drinking, I am back on the road. And it sounds like I'm going to be here a while, friends.
I woke up at four am this morning, and laid there staring at the ceiling making a mental list of what I'd forgotten to pack, until my alarm went off at 5:03 (Portland's area code!) I tried and failed to get up and shower without waking Janine, whom had stayed over for one more night of (this time slightly weepy) love makin'. After some last minute packing, and some tearful goodbyes, I hit the road.
After I'd had a good cry (damn emotions) I was quickly cheered up by the scenery. Cruising down 84-E, which runs parallel to the Columbia river through what's known as The Gorge. It's all fucking gorgeous, with the golden sunrise breaking through the clouds, lighting up the huge cliff tops, and the morning fog melting off the mountains. I'd show you pictures of that, but I'd forgotten about the digital camera Janine has loaned me. Look it up though. The gorge is beautiful.
My first appt was in Richmont, WA, which Google maps said was 3 hours, 26 minutes away, and I pulled in right on time. The owner of the shop, Bead All Bug Beads (she couldn't explain that one) A, was hard to place in age, maybe 50's. A case of "it's not the years, it's the miles". She was very friendly, and got right to the point, knew what she wanted, but waited until her son, L, got there to help her make her final decisions. When all was said and done, she'd spent $733.
Back in the van, before making the hour long drive to Yakima, I played a hunch I had in terms of a confusing scheduling, and called Donald to leave a message that I wasn't sure the appt was a go. Sure enough, he called the shop, and the buyer had fallen ill that day, but hadn't thought to call us. MY BEAD SALESMAN PROWESS IS GROWING DAY, BY DAY!
Pleased with myself for circumventing a two hour round trip, I got some coffee, ate some snacks from my $50 box of Trader Joe's snacks, and started the drive to La Grande. It was a three and half hour haul, and it got steadily less pretty. I always forget that Oregon and Washington has a lot of desert to it.
Points about the drive: There was a coupe from Idaho that kept speeding past me doing 80, then I'd pass them pulled over to the shoulder. No idea why. There was an open dump truck filled with onions. Whenever it hit a bump, a few onions would fly out and break apart. I drove through a town white with smoke from what I assume was a wild fire somewhere near. It stank. Oh, and I'm pretty sure I ran over a bird. Sorry, bird. Also, I made a new Pandora station called "Yacht Rock!" that's keeping my spirits high.
Once in La Grande, a nice enough looking town (though with a lot of Christian influence, it seems) I walked around for a bit, then started looking for a place to settle down. After getting frustrated trying to find a campground, I almost said fuck it, and booked a motel. But at the last minute went to an RV park to ask if they had tent sites. And shit howdy, they do, and only for $21. On the one hand, it's pretty lame to pay $21 to sleep in a tent by the highway, but at least they have wifi, and showers.
Oh, and I had a brief panic attack when I couldn't find my toiletries bag (which I'm quite proud of, for some reason). I texted Janine with my lament that I'd forgotten it, and she swore she'd seen it sitting on the bead crates. Sure enough, it had fallen between the seats. I told her if she was right, I'd marry her, divorce her, and remarry her. Looks like I've got to start saving for a ring.
Not that I'm going to see her, or any of my PDX friends, for a long fucking time. Apart from a week break at some point, I'm probably on the road until the first week in December. Woof.
Ok, time to pass the fuck out. I've got a 9 am appt with a woman named Dancing Hands. Gotta be on point for that.
Miles driven: 531
Money made:$98.96
Not the Gorge, but still pretty cool looking.
I mean, not when I take a photo of it from a moving car, but hey, I try.
OMG!! A WINDMILL!!! EXOTIC!!!
And then it all turned to fat nothin' for miles.
The most well behaved forest ever.
Why am I even posting this?
Or this? Why would anyone find this interesting? C'mon self, try harder.
It's my hideous bloated face! That doesn't help the scenery much.
The luxurious life of a bead salesman.
You said girlfriend!!!
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